Latest Christmas Adventure!

Ho, Ho, Ho!

Well, I hope you had a fine Holiday, as I sure did. But, there were some adventurous moments, too.
Christmas Eve Day I went up to Rosamond and picked-up my motor home! Well, the tweakers I bought it from hadn't cleaned it out as I had asked, so A.T. and I had to do that. Then we discover a nail in the front right tire, which won't hold air, and there's NO GAS in the tanks. So, we go over to the gas station/convenience store, pick up some Fix-A-Flat, 4 gallons of regular, some starter fluid, and a 12-pack of Pepsi for the tweakers (they asked). Luckily we'd brought a new battery. Well, we finally get the thing going, and as I'm heading down the road with A.T. following in my car, I feel a constant, strong tremble and shimmy (kinda like Apollo 13's wicked bangs and shimmys) and pull over. A.T. informs me that the left rear outer wheel (dualies) is wobbling fully 6 inches from side to side! Well, the star wrench we have won't fit the 1-inch lug nut, so I run BACK to the tweaker's house and borrow the proper tools from him. He asks if I can give his family a ride into town, but after already getting him his 12-pack, as well as fattening his pockets by $400, I tell him "no."
A.T. and I fix the wheel by removing and re-seating the lugs, and the problem is pretty-much solved. Then the brakes fail. I have to stand on the pedal, literally, to get it to stop, but stop it does. We had to move the thing about 18-20 miles down to A.T.'s mom's house (where I'm staying) and it ran out of gas in the last 4 miles! That's about 3 MPG! Oh, and did I mention that the registration tags expired in 1990 !!! As I brought the thing to a stop in front of someone's house, I forgot about the height, and drove under the small trees planted along the parkway, and RIP-SNAAAP-GRRRIND, as I tore off a few limbs and branches! Uh... Merry Christmas? I hope the residents in that house didn't see me! I jumped into my car while A.T. stood guard over the motor home, and ran back to the house for a gas can. As I'm about to fill up the can, I see liquid in there, and it looks and smells like gas. Excellent! Free gas! But, something makes me doubt my good luck, and so I pour some out on the concrete. It doesn't evaporate. So, I pour some into my hand and taste it.
It's water!!!
Damn good thing I listen to my instincts. Anyway, after emptying and refilling the can with gas, I get back and fill 'er up, and we get the thing home with no further problems. It sleeps okay, too. Need a mattress, though.
So, an hour after we get it home, I head out to Eva's place in Rialto. It's a gorgeous night as I drive along the north face of the San Gabriel Mountains where they meet the desert floor, and Cajon Pass is, as always, awesome.
I get to Eva's, and we have a nice evening, drinking two different wines and a Champaign, and eating Sizzler's steak and Malibu chicken. I bring Clancy in, and the FIRST thing he does is pee on the presents. So, OUT he goes to spend the night in the car. That's okay, 'cause so did I when it came time to sleep. Eva's apartment is FILLED with roaches and silverfish, and she snores nowadays, and I can't sleep with that. Also, I wanted to keep Clancy company.
Christmas morning was beautiful, with a sky steaked with red and purple clouds. Clancy and I went into Eva's unit, and we all had a nice Christmas. At one point, we walked over to her nephew Kenny's place in the same complex, and took them some presents. They had about 4 kids there, ranging from a newborn to about 10 years old. The 10 year old is beautiful little girl. Unfortunately, she's sexy as hell and knows it, and was giving me blatantly sexual attention with her eyes, expressions, attempts to touch me, etc. I hafta admit, if she'd-a-been 18, I'd have jumped on her right there! But as it was, it just made me uncomfortable. Eva noticed it too, and we agreed that she'll be pregnant by the time she's 12. What was sad were her folks. Kenny's a good guy, I've known him since he was a toddler. But he and his old lady aren't doing much to raise those kids right. Example: the kids never once uttered even a small 'thank-you' for the presents. Instead, the 10-year old girl kept asking "When's Kaelon gonna get here? I want more presents!" (Kaelon, my boy, was supposed to bring them some). Example: her mother, a woman who's got to weigh at least 280 pounds and kept glaring at me and my cornrows like I had no business there, bragged in front of the kids about how she got a pair of jeans for the 10-year old girl for Christmas at Wal-Mart by switching the tags from the real price of $14 to a price of $1.75!
The presents had been provided by my daughter Thaedra, who was able to come over for the day. When she heard about the lousy reception we were given, she declared that she would no longer act as Santa for those people.
Also that morning was jarred awake by somebody next door who decided, at 9:00 AM, to turn his rap music up to FULL VOLUME for Christmas, with all his windows and doors open! With lyrics liberally spiced with "mutha fucka" and "niggaz" and "shit" and lots of other family-oriented words. Thankfully, he turned it down after only a few minutes.
Thaeddy gave me a beautiful bottle filled with spices, seed, fruit slices, in water. I love it!
Finally, it came time for me to head home. Cajon Pass was filled with fog that Christmas night, so it was very slow going most of the way.
The next day, I went and saw KING KONG.
To say this film is great is to understate. I was blown away! It was far better than I expected. I now officially have a MAJOR crush on Evan Parke, the hunkaliscous Black man who portrays the First Mate on the tramp steamer VENTURE. God, what I would give to have that man on top of me! It was all I could do to keep from naying and baa-ing every time I saw him onscreen. I would gladly be his horse AND his bitch. And he's single! (Like I REALLY have a chance!) And, amazingly, he was not the first to die in the film! Usually, the brutha is always the first to die, but he got some heroic moments.
RUN, don't walk, to see KING KONG!